


Jumper: Memory Circle Collection

by supershadsy



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: F/M, Flash Fic, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:03:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 7,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6163428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supershadsy/pseuds/supershadsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short works originally posted on Tumblr as supplementary material to the original work, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3800722">Jumper.</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All of these are first-person present, super short works, with the initial of the narrator at the end of each piece. Some are NSFW, so please be advised. A note will be added regarding roughly when the memory circle takes place. 
> 
> This first one takes place anytime after 37.

_He's what you'd call a "player" to some. Both of us know this, we see it every time we go out anywhere. Despite being with us, he'll still flirt with all the waitresses and cashiers, just to charm them.  
_

_And yet, all of this superficial charm, all that he everything but drips with, melts away when we're making love.  
_

_I never expected him to be so emotional. He is always gentle, especially with me. With him, I think he has a little more fun, but when he gets a chance with me and me alone, his touch is tender, his fingertips light. He enjoys to kiss my neck, right at the back. It gives me goosebumps...  
_

_Ah...  
_

_When the end eventually comes, he will always hold me close. On some occasions, he'll be more desperate. "Please don't go," he'll say, shaking. "Please don't leave me." I stroke his bare back, through his long hair (it's always so soft). I kiss his head, his cheeks, his tears.  
_

_"I won't," I say.  
_

_I'm not sure where this comes from, for he only does it with me. I've asked him, how he is when they're intimate alone, and he doesn't recall anything too much like this. "Only once in a while." I don't want to ask him too much about it--all I know is that he's been through so much, and he doesn't deserve to go through more.  
_

_When we make love, and the moments are just right, he'll smile at me. He calls me "angel". He knows exactly where to touch, and he's learning sweet spots on my body, places I had never known to produce pleasure. "Shouldn't we get him over here?" I'll ask some days, breathless. He'll grin wickedly.  
_

_"Not right now," he says. "Let me play with you a little more first..."  
_

(C.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place anytime after 32.

_He's asleep right now. That's all right, we already had our fun. I got the satisfaction of covering his face while he moaned and bit my hand. Very nice.  
_

_But, it's quiet now. She'll be coming to bed soon, on his other side, but for now, I can spoon him, my chest flush against his back. I want to draw shapes on it, smooth and soft, but I don't want to wake him up.  
_

_Easy, slow, breathing. I'm lucky as hell. Who else would drag me down from a bridge, take all of my flirting while under the impression of being "straight", and end up in bed with me like this? I wonder if he knew any better. Or if he knew at all. I don't really care that much. He's forward and honest, on all fronts, so...  
_

_Ah, there she is.  
_

_She quietly tucks herself into bed, tired herself, and we all close in with him in the middle. The bed's almost too small for us, but snuggled in, we fit just fine. He stirs, rolling to his stomach, and his hand brushes my side, head turned toward me. His hair is unbearably messy, but it's cute that way. Hell, I haven't felt this...what's a good word? Enamored. I haven't felt this taken by someone in a long time.  
_

_I haven't felt a lot of anything in a long time.  
_

_It's a relief.  
_

_Suddenly, he's awake, and I can tell more from his mouth than his eyes. He's smiling at me. "Go to sleep," he says. I take the opportunity to kiss his forehead..._

(Z.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place anytime after 32, preferably around 45, since it's fall.

_"Hey."  
_

_"Hm?"  
_

_"Let's go for a spin."  
_

_Going out on the bike with him is always an adventure. He knows the areas around the outskirts of Meltokio the best, but sometimes, he'll go out on a limb and ride elsewhere. It's fall now, so all the leaves are turning. He's wearing tight jeans and a leather jacket, his standard "I'm the coolest" look.  
_

_Funny thing, it works.  
_

_It has grab bars, but I hold on to him instead. He says I'm a good rider--I don't know whether that means anything or not. When he revs through long straight aways, I clutch his middle and inhale the strong scent of leather as the wind pierces my cheeks. It's a rush.  
_

_The leaves are turning on the trees around, some of them the color of his hair, some yellow like hers. It's a shame the three of us can't ride together. Maybe I should get a bike, too. Then I could take her along for nice rides like this.  
_

_In the meantime, it's just me and him. There's too much extraneous noise for conversation, so we just ride.  
_

_You know what? It doesn't feel weird. I'll be honest, getting into this, I didn't know what to expect. I had never been with a guy before. Hell, I had never_ really _dated anyone before. But, what he said was right. "Nothing really changes." Like, we're still friends, like we were before. There are just little things, here and there. There's the sex, of course, but otherwise--  
_

_We pull up to a stop sign, and he rubs my thigh, turning back toward me. His sunglasses slide down his nose so I can see his icy eyes. He grins. "Want to go a little more, babe?"  
_

_"Sure."  
_

_He gives me a quick kiss on the top of my cheek, before revving the engine, and we continue to ride..._

(L.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place immediately after 25.

_Six miles out. Where do you fucking get on the highway around here?  
_

_Date went well, really well. It went too well, honestly, and I had to try so fucking hard not to just kiss him right there on the side of the road. Hell, if she weren't home (if she weren't up, even), I would've made a bigger move. Goddess, Goddess I want to touch him so badly...  
_

_But, no. I told myself that I wasn't going to pull any of the bullshit I've done before. I know how that already goes. I want to do things right.  
_

_They're worth it.  
_

_Thing is, I have no idea what the outcome is going to be, even if I do.  
_

_There's the fucking highway. Crank on that clutch, rev that engine, I have exercised way too much fucking restraint and I have to blow this off. The speedometer tells me I'm getting close to 100, and that's fine. That's exactly what I want. Fuck it if I'm speeding, anything to keep my heart inside my damn chest.  
_

_He was so easy the whole time, I couldn't believe it. There were little blips of discomfort, sure, but I expected that. He danced with me, he slow danced, he let me get close to him. I can't tell if the alcohol was talking more than he was. But, he's always honest, right?  
_

_Yet he didn't tell her about tonight.  
_

_Fuck, I'm going to have to be the one to clean that up, aren't I? I'll take her out tomorrow, after whatever she's doing. I'm going to need ten cups of coffee, but I'll be there. She's going to be a lot easier. He was the real test, since as far as he's concerned, he's straight by default. Not if I can help it.  
_

_Shit, there's my exit.  
_

_There's no one else out there, so I down shift fast, jamming on the brakes. The tire squeal is immense, and I can feel the bike shake under me, threatening to flip and spiral. I throw the handle bars to the side for more stopping power, the smoke from the rubber is making me gag.  
_

_Miraculously, I come to a stop, and I can see the exit behind me. The highway is still dead. My breath starts to catch in my throat as my heart races as if I've run a marathon. I start to whimper.  
_

_I did it again. Pulled another reckless bullshit move and almost turned myself into roadkill.  
_

_Don't really have the luxury to do that anymore, do I?  
_

_I haven't been able to really hold either of them the way I want to yet..._

(Z.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexually explicit material, reader discretion is advised.
> 
> It takes place anytime between 37 and 50.

_"You've never touched yourself before?" he asks.  
_

_I shake my head cautiously--I can't say I've ever had much of a sex drive before all this happened. He smirks and crawls over to me, pulling me back into his naked lap. "I can show you a few things," he whispers, taking my hand and leading it toward my crotch. When he's in the moment, his voice takes on a soupy drawl that lulls me right in, sweet and easy.  
_

_He guides a finger inside briefly, allowing me to feel exactly how wet I already am, and he slides it up further, until a jolt surges through me and I gasp. He chuckles. "Right there," he says. "That's the best part."  
_

_He makes my hand move in small circles over my clit, and while the sensation isn't as intense as when he uses his own fingers (or, Goddess forbid, his tongue...), it's still very pleasurable, and comes with a sense of control that I can almost grasp. I start to take more initiative, and he gradually lets go, kissing my neck in the process. "Hey, c'mere."  
_

_I forgot Lloyd was sitting at the edge of the bed--I open an eye to see him watching, mesmerized. Upon hearing the command, he scoots over closer to me, his eyes flashing excitement.  
_

_"Why don't you give our little honey a hand?" Zelos asks.  
_

_Lloyd leans behind me to kiss him, and then returns to me, kissing my lips softly, breathy and gentle. The more I touch myself, the more needy my kisses become, and I can feel myself becoming enveloped by the heat spreading from my thighs. It becomes more obvious when I feel another finger join mine, first a delicate touch, and then more purposeful, plunging deep inside. I let out a startled moan.  
_

_"Take it easy, we're just warming up," he says behind me. His voice is right in my ear and I lean harder against him.  
_

_Lloyd wanders from my mouth. "I'm trying," he mutters. "I-I just--ah..."  
_

_He looks into my low lidded eyes, and then kisses me again, this time incorporating his tongue...  
_

(C.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the inspiration for 48. Reader discretion is advised.

_He throws a glass across the room, it shatters into a thousand pieces, the sound ringing in my ears. "This is what you get!" he screams, falling to the floor, ripping at his hair with his hands. He's sobbing. This is by far the worst break he's had in a long time. I can tell because she's in the corner of the living room, pale as a ghost, not saying a word.  
_

_I walk over to him, careful to avoid the shattered glass, and he feels my footsteps. "Don't! Fucking don't! Don't touch m-me, leave me alone!" he barks.  
_

_"Please--" I try to interject, but he cuts me off. I feel glued to the floor despite the one that I love destroying himself right in front of me.  
_

_"I want to die!" he cries, chest heaving, completely closed into himself. He's drawing blood on his arms now. "I want to die s-s-s-so mu-u-uch...I huh-hate myself and I d-don't d-duh-deserve t-t-to...to...a-aaahh!"  
_

_He can't finish his sentence, and I finally lunge forward, hugging him as tightly as I can. He's crying harder now, if that were possible, gasping for air. I kiss his hair, any part of him that I can reach, even his scratched and bloody arms, only pausing to wipe the copper taste away from my lips.  
_

_I look up to her in the corner. "Get me some water, hon?" I ask, as evenly as I can manage.  
_

_She nods and retrieves it within seconds, kneeling beside us. "S-should we...call the hospital?" she asks, timid and fragile.  
_

_He wails in my arms again, his hands shuddering to grab at something, but I hold him steady. "No, it's okay. We can take him there ourselves."  
_

_"NO! No no no no..." he howls, swatting at me. She's on the other side now, trying to hold him as well.  
_

_"Please, at least to get a therapist, if nothing else," I say. "We love you, but we're not professionals. A-and I'm...not going to take the risk of this happening while we're not around."  
_

_He looks up at me at last, red swollen eyes, tears still streaming down his face, and it's difficult for me to keep it together..._

(L.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexually explicit material. Reader discretion is advised.
> 
> It takes place anytime after 37.

_"This is it," I say. "This is easily the best part of my day."  
_

_Both of them are naked against our huge bed on their backs, he's hard as a rock while I finger his ass, and she's easy and slick to dive into, working my thumb against her clit and two fingers inside her. They're both pink and panting, she's covering her mouth, and I can hear him moaning faintly through his breathing.  
_

_This could possibly be more entertaining than getting off myself. Granted, it's hot as fuck, but the ego trip is just incredible. I've always been apt to give more than I receive, it's a good distraction.  
_

_"You know what would make this better?" I say, and they both perk up, both holding their breath as I pause inside them. "If you two made out. Trust me. You'll love it."  
_

_They look at me and then each other, and he scoots closer so she can reach him, and they kiss, first with just lips, and then the tongues come out. That's when I strike. I push forward hard inside, then flick forward with my fingers. My timing is very good, and she cries loud enough to echo in the corner of the room. He's also making noise, but not quite enough for my liking.  
_

_"Baby, do you need a little more~?" I whisper, and lean over his crotch. There's strain in my shoulders and arms, but I ignore it. "I want to hear you make some noise..."  
_

_I sink my mouth over his cock, careful of my teeth, and there,_ there _it is. Now he's moaning, trying to keep it in her mouth, but failing miserably. He can barely even focus on kissing her anymore. I'm trying to keep watch, but it's hard with your fingers deep in your partners and with a mouth full of cock.  
_

_The phone starts ringing, it's hers. "Oh, crap, thaaa_ aat's _...aaaa,_ Zelos!" _She's trying to reach for it, but I won't let her, diving another finger inside her.  
_

_I give him a few parting licks before I change gears over to her. "It can wait, can't it? Unless you want to answer during~." I lick my lips as I adjust my hands, moving my thumb so I can get better access to her clit.  
_

_It's cute to watch her try to make full sentences. "I'm not...haaah, I'm not gonna...an-answer while you're...you're doing thaa-aaht!"  
_

_The phone silences as I dive in to eat her, and she's gone, gone,_ gone...

(Z.)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place anytime after 32.

_I can't sleep._

_I wander into the bathroom without turning the light on and stare into it. I can't see anything, but I don't really care. I know my hair’s a mess and I probably look like shit. I've been crying after all._

_Shit, I don't want to wake them…_

_I turn on the faucet as low as I can while still having water come out of it just to wash my face. At this point, I don't give a shit about every detail I hate about myself running through my head. I'm tired and I want to go to bed._

_Ah, seems like I've disturbed someone. I hear footsteps…_

_“Honey?” It's Colette. She patters over to me, miraculously without running into anything. “Go...go sleep, Z…”_

_She's adorable when she's like this, and it makes me feel better. Just a little. “I'm just getting some water, kitten,” I say, just as she leans heavily against me and hugs my waist._

_She buries her head into my side and nuzzles it. “You don't feel good,” she states._

_She's right. “I'm fine, sweetheart,” I opt to say instead._

_“You were crying. I heard you.”_

_Well, it looks like I've been found out. Guilt fills the back of my throat and I hug her against me. For some reason, I thought I wouldn't feel so bad if I was with someone. Or two, in this case. But, that's never how it is. This shit follows you wherever you go, like mud tracking the soles of your shoes._

_It gets better, sure. But it's never really gone._

_“I love you,” she says sleepily, yawning on my chest. She tries tugging at me to go with her, but she lacks the motor skills to do much of anything. “C’mon…”_

_I follow her anyway, my sleepy angel. “I love you too.” I mean it, every time I say it to them, I can feel it, in the core of me and everywhere else._

_I wonder if I'm compensating._

(Z.)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place anytime after 32.

_Martel, he loves doing this. He'll drive me out right at sunset, right? Usually to the edge of the bridge, park on the side of the road. "Get in the back," he says. The back is just one long big seat, he pushes the front seats forward so we have plenty of room, and then we make out for an hour. That's the longest, anyway. Usually doesn't get too much further than that, but there's a lot of touching, and he holds me so tight. He kisses me so hard that I can barely breathe.  
_

_"Remember when you grabbed me off this bridge?" he whispers, clutching the back of my shirt. "You saved my fucking life. I'm alive because of you."  
_

_Of course I remember. How could I forget?  
_

_He moans a little, and sometimes I can't tell if he's upset or not. He feels so hot under my hands, when I push him down beneath me. I try to watch him, watch him, check for the signs, because if he gets upset, I have to stop. I can't do this with him like that. It's not fair.  
_

_I don't like it when he triggers himself like that, being here.  
_

_He's not though, not tonight, because he's smiling up at me, eyes half open. "We're gonna get caught one of these days," he says without concern, pulling off my shirt. He tosses it over to the dashboard and pulls himself up by my shoulders, kissing me all the way. Eventually, he's pushed me to the corner of the backseat, on my lap, grinding against me as we make out. I'm dizzy and warm, and a moan escapes the back of my throat as he licks his tongue against mine. "Mmn--"  
_

_He sighs in pleasure and kisses my neck, finally giving me a chance to speak. "I'd do it again," I say. "I'd do it a hundred times if it means I can be with you every single day."  
_

_He pauses, and I can feel him smiling. "Babe..."  
_

_"I love you," I say. The words just keep spilling out of my mouth, even though I can barely catch my breath. "I love waking up next to you, and watching you fuss over Col, and being together...just, everything..."  
_

_He sits up to look at me and bumps his forehead against mine. "I'm the one who's supposed to get emotional here, not you," he says...  
_

(L.)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in the middle of 39.

_The worst part about the beach is probably all the sand. It gets everywhere, in my hair, down my swimsuit…it’s nice that this place has a shower, and fancy ones too, with complimentary soaps!  
_

_I just got the water running, pouring over me, then I hear Lloyd on the other side of the curtain. “Col?” he says.  
_

_“I’m right here.”  
_

_“Can I come in?”  
_

_I don’t even get a chance to reply when he pokes his head in, grinning that toothy grin I love. “This is pretty big,” he says, stepping in and immediately hugging his naked body to mine. “Ow, how can you have the water that hot?!”  
_

_“Oh, sorry!” I turn down the knob a little, thankfully going back to a neutral warmth instead of ice cold. For a few moments, it’s just business as usual—he’s still got sand on his chest when we buried him, and I’m trying to get the sand off my own. Who knew a bikini top would be such a sand trap?  
_

_“Are you two having a party without me~?” There’s Z. I knew it wouldn’t be long. He slings the shower curtain wide open, and I cling to Lloyd instinctively. He is also, unceremoniously, very naked. “Let me come in.”  
_

_“I don’t know if we’re going to fit—“  
_

_He ignores me, sandwiching Lloyd between us. I’m almost pressed against the shower knob, which is ice cold against my back, and Lloyd’s the one getting most of the water. “Here, lemme…adjust…” he grunts, reaching up above my head to twist the shower head up. It creaks, but gives, getting Zelos right in the face.  
_

_“Hey, hey!” he shouts, mouth full of water. “It’s my hair that needs it, not my face—!”  
_

_“It was your bright idea to come in here,” he complains. “Back up, will you?”  
_

_“Let me have some water.” Zelos and Lloyd switch places, now he’s the one pressed against me. “Hello, my love,” he croons, massaging his head and hair. He’s looking me over, and he can’t help but grab at one of my boobs. It’s less sexual, more playful. “Shit, you’re cold, honey,” he says suddenly, and spins me around so I’m in the middle. “We can’t have our angel get cold.”  
_

_“I had the water up…” I say, trying to reach back over to the knob. He sees what I’m doing and decides to crank it, making steam rise from the head and the water boiling hot._ “Shit! _Fuck, that’s too much…”  
_

_He jumps forward, pushing us all against the other wall. Even though this is the precise reason why we don’t take showers all together, I can’t help but laugh…_

(C.)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place not too long after 51.

_Mascara, check. Earrings, check. Ponytail, check. Wallet, check. Ah, I should probably have a purse, shouldn’t I? Complete the look? That’s the one thing I didn’t carry around. Oh well, these jeans have pockets.  
_

_I glance at myself in the mirror once more, making sure I’m all tucked in before sneaking out of the apartment. The angels have already left for the day, class and work. I was planning on doing a little shopping while they were out. His birthday’s coming up, and I want to get something special.  
_

_I’m not going alone, of course.  
_

_Driving out to eir place isn’t that hard, it’s a complex outside of Mizuho that somehow isn’t owned by the family. Thank Goddess, ey were going to lose eir mind if ey lived with that group of bigots any longer.  
_

_I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous as fuck still. My hands are shaking on the wheel, and it makes me want to pull out the ten years old sedatives out of the glove box. I almost don’t recognize my reflection in the rear view as I pull up to number 3, eir apartment. I look damn good, don’t get me wrong. I’d do me. _Not too bad, considering I haven’t done this in a couple years._ But I can’t wait for the first person on the street to take one look at me–tall, too skinny, walking too stiff with a voice too deep and scream slurs at me. Damn it, damn it.   
_

_I’m a fucking coward, and I know it. Maybe I shouldn’t have come._

_Well, I’m here anyway, so it’s too late to peel away. If I chicken out, I can just ask em if I can clean up in eir place and be done with it. Okay. Get out of the car._

_I knock on the door and wait, hands in my pockets. I’ve got my feet crammed into these flats that make my feet look bigger than they should be. Calm down, Z, it’s just because you haven’t done this in a while. Maybe you tied that feeling to how you felt when you were with them before? Maybe this was a mistake–_

_The door opens and ey come out, bound up and with that haircut that makes em stand taller, shoulders back, more confident that I’ve ever seen em. Even the denim jacket that I’ve seen em wear before looks a million times better as ey are now. And just that aura, that calm look on eir face (even if ey’re smirking at my crop top–c’mon, I love it even if it is tacky) just whittles my nerves down to nothing. It makes me remember why this felt so right in the first place.  
_

_“You ready?” I say, feigning casual.  
_

_Ey smile at me, crossing eir arms. “Yeah. Let’s go.”_

(Z.)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place during 44.

_“Honey,” she giggles, as my face is burying her neck in kisses. “Mmn, you’re tickling me--”_

_“Am I?” We’ve been nuzzled here on the couch for a while, even before Sheena came back. She’s so soft to touch, so cute to kiss, and I think Zelos is rubbing off on me.  
_

_I move away from her neck and kiss her lips, and much to my surprise, she returns it with full force, wrapping her arms around my neck. My hands wander over her shirt, cupping her breast, and she shivers just slightly._

_“Hey,” I whisper, making sure to hold her tight and close. “I think they went into the other room.”_

_“Y-yeah, I heard--” she starts, and then pauses. “Did you--”_

_My heart’s racing at just the thought of it. “Just a quick one, if that’s okay?” I mutter, stroking her hair back._

_“Right here? On the couch?”  
_

_“Why not?” I grin. “Z can deter her if she tries to interrupt.” He was eyeing us the whole time, and I think he was almost encouraging...hell, he’d probably come and watch if he could. Wouldn’t be the first time._

_She bit her lip, adorable and inviting at the same time. “O-okay,” she replied. “You’ll have to go get a condom though.”_

_“Oh yeah.”  
_

_My pants are already tight as I pry myself away from her, and she bats her eyes as I walk away. When did she get that coy? Has she always been that way, and I just never noticed? I find myself racing down the hall to our bedroom (Z’s room is still shut tight--perfect), open the drawer, grab a condom, and rush back._

_When I come back, she already has her pants off, although her top layers are still on. Probably the safest bet. I sit back down on the couch and pull her into my lap, keeping the condom aside for now, and kiss her, kiss her, run my hands up underneath her shirt, embracing her soft waist, over the curve of her hips, her butt, around to her thighs. She moans in my mouth, and I hush her._

_“We have to be quiet...” I whisper, my throat dry and hoarse before she kisses me again, more hungry than before..._

(L.)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place anytime after 49.

_“WTLU. Sorry, you’re number three. Try again.”_

_It’s a few minutes before the next ring. Don’t know why we’re even running a contest during my slot. Guess I’ve gained a bit of a following with what I play, including the band these tickets are for. “Close, but no. Try again.”  
_

_The next one is the winner. Caller number five. I have to spin through two more songs before I get it. I hit the record button on the tape deck so I can play it over the air next commercial break. “WTLU, this is Z.”  
_

_A woman’s voice, but it sounds like she’s constantly yawning. “H-hi, am I caller number five?” she asks._

_“You bet,” I reply with a smile. “You’ve just won yourself two tickets for Brand New at the auditorium next month, congratulations.”_

_She giggles. “Oh, yes! Thank you!”_

_“What’s your name, sweetheart?”_

_“Um...uh...” There’s static on the line, and she clears her throat. “Um, well, it’s--”_

_She coughs again, this time fully clearing her throat. “Sorry about that,” she replies, her voice much less yawny, and I can instantly tell who it is._

_“Colette?” I ask, leaning forward in my chair.  
_

_“Oh, I blew it!” she groans. “I thought I could get away with it if I changed my voice...!”_

_I’m more curious as to why she’d enter this contest in the first place. She listens to pop country crap, not anything like this band. “Angel, the rules are that no one affiliated with the station is eligible. That unfortunately means girlfriends of the host.”_

_“Oh...” Guess she forgot about that, too._

_“Did you just want to bug me at work, cutie~?”_

_“N-no! I w-wanted to get those tickets for...for you,” she says. I can imagine her fidgeting. “Y-you know, you really like them, and I thought it’d be cool...to go together.”_

_“You’d go to a punk show for me?” I marvel. “Oh, hang on--” The song is fading away, and I have to scramble to get another one up before silence takes over. “Okay. You’re sweet, you know that? And besides, I can get us floor tickets no problem.”_

_“Really?” She sounds apprehensive, and I can imagine why. Things can get pretty rough right in front of the stage._

_“Hey, don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on you.” I smile to myself as I twirl the phone chord in my fingers, wishing it were her hair. The other line starts to ring. “Listen, sweetheart, I’ve got another caller. This’ll be the_ real _one.”_

_“Oh! Oh, sorry!”_

_“Shh, it’s okay.” I pause the tape deck and pop out the tape, pawing for another blank one to stick in. Because I’m a sap, I’ll probably keep it. “I love you.”_

_“Love you too, Zelos!”_

_She’s perfect, she really is, and it takes me a second to wipe the love-struck grin off my face before taking the next call..._

(Z.)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A direct companion to the previous chapter, therefore takes place anytime after 49.

“Turn off the lights, and turn off the shyness, ‘cause all of the moves makes up for the silence...~”

_I can hear him singing in the other room as I’m trying to get ready. I’ve never been good at putting eyeliner on, let alone something this dark. I feel like I’m going to stand out like a sore thumb at this concert, but it’s for him, so..._

_The singing gets louder and he wanders into the bathroom. “Oh, look at you!” he exclaims. Much to my surprise, he’s wearing eyeliner too, as well as earrings and black bracelets. His shirt says “FIGHT OFF YOUR DEMONS” over and over on it. He looks a lot better in eyeliner than I do. “Need some help?”_

_“N-no, I can...” I start, then sigh. “Yeah, I guess so...”_

_“Here, close your eyes...” He takes the pencil from my hand and begins gently drawing on my eyelids. “You really want to look the part, don’t you?”_

_“W-well, yeah,” I say, trying to move only my mouth. “You do, so I-I just...”_

_“Don’t worry about it, really,” he says, and backs away from me. I open my eyes to see him smirking at me. Is it odd that the eyeliner makes him look a little sexy? More than usual...I don’t say anything about it. It’ll feed his ego and then he’ll only tease me, and who knows if we’ll ever leave the house. “If you want to go wash all that off and go looking like your natural, cute little self, no one’s going to say anything.”_

_“Mm.” I blink in the mirror, and it doesn’t look half bad. Different, sure--I don’t usually wear nearly this much black or tight clothing all at once--but okay.  
_

_“Guys, we should get going,” Lloyd says. He’s spiked his hair up a little bit, and while he’s not wearing any makeup, he is wearing a tight black shirt. It hugs him just right...oh, this is all Zelos’ fault! “Does this look okay? It feels a little tight...”_

_“No, no!” Zelos and I both interrupt at the same time, and I turn away, embarrassed..._

(C.)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is referenced in 52, and takes place between then and 45.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. I hate this, I hate this so much. I shouldn’t have even come. Shouldn’t have even come! But I said to myself, “oh, it’ll be fine! I’ll just stay chill and shut up and everything will be fine!”  
_

_Boy, was I wrong.  
_

_I’m hiding out in the bathroom right now, I can hear them chatting and laughing, like everything’s fine, everything’s fucking fine. But no, it’s not. I’m always going to be the fucking outsider with them, aren’t I? I’m not welcome in this shithole town and I never will be. Stupid fucking graduation party, with a kid who fucking hates my guts. They don’t notice how he glares at me, how he clears his throat every time I try to be affectionate with one of them._

_I hate it, I hate it. I hate myself enough already, I don’t need this.  
_

_All right, deep breath. Stop fuckin’ crying like the baby you are, wash your face..._

_There’s a knock on the door.  
_

_“Z?” It’s Lloyd. “You all right, bud?”_

_I rush to the door and drag him in, shutting it behind him and grip him in a hard hug. “Hey, take it easy,” he murmurs, so sweet and low and smooth, and the waterworks won’t fucking stop.  
_

_“I want to go home--!” I whimper, like a fucking child. “He still hates my guts, he barely will l-let me touch you..._ or _her--”_

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he says, rubbing my back. “We should’ve had it at our place, or something...”_

_“N-no, this is_ my _fault,” I insist, clawing at him. “I’m just a high maintenance fucking bastard who roped you into all of this--”_

“Stop.” _He pulls away from me to hold my head. “That’s not true. I thought Genis was going to be okay, but...it just looks like we’ve still got a ways to go.”_

_“It’s_ me _he hates! It’s me!” I cry. “I c-can’t do anything about m-m-me...”_

_His face falls, and he hugs me again, kissing my hair. “Babe...” he mutters.  
_

_“Honey?” Colette, sweet Colette..._

_I bury myself in him and he keeps me close while he responds. “Yeah, just a minute...”_

(Z.)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader discretion is advised.
> 
> This takes place immediately before 3.

_I was hoping I wouldn’t wake up this morning.  
_

_I’m definitely still drunk._

_I wander into the bathroom, I look like a fucking mess. I can barely see myself straight, but I’m...fucking terrible. My hair’s greasy because I haven’t washed in a week, bloodshot eyes, sunken face. Real classy, Zelos Wilder.  
_

_Should’ve crashed my car last night._

_Should’ve drank enough to die last night._

_Nope, but I’m still fuckin’ here. Didn’t even get one last fuck in, either. Got bitched out by some chick out with her friends (nice rack on her), and every other girl just turned up their nose and walked away. And if chicks won’t hit it, I’m not going to bother getting another guy.  
_

_Fuck it. I’m going to do it.  
_

_Tethe’alla Bridge isn’t that far, is it? Nice and tall. It’ll be weeks before anyone finds my body. I don’t even want to write up a will to give away all my shit. Who cares, who cares? Seles will probably fuckin’ sell it all, “good riddance”, she’ll say, “that fuck-up was just a waste of my time,_

_never did anything with his life_

_not worth anything at all.”_

_I’m starting to cry now, so that’s my cue to get some clothes on and get out the fucking door. Just whatever will work, just get me out of here, just let me die, let me out I just want to_

_go_

_so I can stop feeling so fucking lonely and lost and get rid of this stupid fucking waste of time waste of space waste of_

_everything._

_I’m tired of doctors telling me “it’ll get better”. It doesn’t, it’s never going to. I was supposed to be dead, and I’m out the door, down the stairs, running out to the street, to make sure that fucking happens._

_It’s never going to get better.  
_

_Who knows, I’ll probably fuck up this attempt too. Let’s hope not._

(Z.)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place anytime after 52.

_Shit, I slept most of the morning away..._

_This always happens after working at Dad’s on the weekend, now that I don’t have class on Mondays anymore. Bed is empty, so I roll out of it, stretching my legs and wandering to the kitchen.  
_

_I’m stopped at the bathroom. “Hey, baby~,” he says._

_Except--wow. He’s..._

_He’s in there curling his hair. His face is all done up in makeup--eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, the works. He’s wearing this shade of lipstick too that really makes them pop. I didn’t realize how pale his lips were until just this moment. He’s also in a flowing, pink top, and...he has boobs, somehow, too. And cleavage.  
_

_I’m stunned._

_“What’s the matter?” he asks. There’s hesitation in his curling hand now, and his smile has faltered, just slightly, just enough to notice._

_“You look...” I can’t stop staring, I feel like a deer in headlights. “You look great.”_

_He lays the curling iron in the sink and waltzes over to me. Dear Goddess, he can even swing his hips. “You’re not just bullshitting me, are you?” he asks, backing me up against the wall. Despite his presence, his voice trembles. “I-I know, I’m not the prettiest girl in the world, but it makes me--”_

_“You’re hot,” I blurt out, before he--or_ she, _I should really say, can finish. “I...how do you do that?” I reach out for her chest and cup her “boobs”, or whatever she has going on._

_“Magic, mostly,” she replies with a wink. “A lot of padding and stuffing. I’m right about the angel’s size, don’t you think?”_

_“She’s bustier than you might think,” I say, moving my hands down over her waist. “But...not by much.”_

_I think my awe shows, because now she’s got a devious look on her face, one I know oh so well, even if it is masked somewhat with makeup. “If you like it so much,” she murmurs, just soaked in charm, and I want to just fall to my knees, damn you Zelos! Damn you! “Why don’t you take me out today~?”_

_I would do literally anything that came out of that sweet mouth of hers. “I...yes,” I say, nodding slowly. “I--”_

_“I’m back~!” I can hear Colette tossing her bag aside, rounding into the hallway. “How are--oh! Z-Z...!”  
_

_She’s turning beat red, hand over her mouth. “Hello, angel,” she greets her, standing up straight and posing, fluffing her hair over her shoulder and arching her back. “How do_ you _think I look?”_

_“Y-you...!” She’s floundering as much as I was. “You look really pretty!” she manages to say, and escapes to the kitchen. I can hear her giggle in front of me, low in her chest._

_Oh, boy. If she does this more often, we’re going to be_ in _for it..._

(L.)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sexually explicit material. Reader discretion is advised.
> 
> It takes place after the main story.

_Love is a feeling._

_She’s gasping for air, and I’m not sure if she can even breathe, with me deep inside her and him licking her at the same time. Her face is beet red as she tightens around me, moaning and gasping all at once. I can hear him too, especially since I also have a finger inside him, and I know for sure he’s touching himself.  
_

_Ah..._

_This is..._

_More than I can take...!_

_She fumbles her hand up, first to his head, massaging his hair, before she reaches my face, trembling and delicate. It’s just fingertips on my cheek, but Goddess, her touch is so tender that it makes me melt right then and there. Her hands trickle to my lips and I kiss them, kiss them.  
_

_“Lloyd,” she murmurs, a raspy whisper. “I love you...”_

_I feel her words all through my body, thrusting me forward, and it compels me to grin, compels me to rub his back, then reach over to her, as much as I can, so I can feel her soft skin around her neck, her collarbone. It’s just a little tacky from sweat._

_Suddenly, he jerks his head up, panting. “Shit,” he huffs, beginning to writhe under me. “I-I’m gonna..._ ah...hhhAAH!” _  
_

_His moans are like music and I push my fingers deeper to accompany his climax. Her eyes widen at the same time, and she instantly reaches down to continue touching herself in his absence, beginning to moan louder.  
_

_Love is a feeling, and physically, viscerally, this is exactly what it feels like..._

(L.)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in the distant future.

_Love is a choice._

_The baby’s crying again. This is only the second time I’ve been woken up by it, but judging by her groan, I know it’s been a lot more than that. I feel her shift beside me. “Z?”_

_“Nnn...” It’s a whimper. A frightened one._

_She sighs heavily. “Zelos, please, I’ve gotten up every time...”_

_“I don’t want to...” I can sense him curling up into a ball. “I-I...I’m gonna j-just...”_

_“For Martel’s sake,_ please,” _she says, tired and cross. “You don’t have to be up in the morning for work. Just this once, just swallow your anxiety and just_ go.” 

_“Easier said than done_.” _His tone is growling and bitter. “I can’t just turn it off, you know.”_

_“I-I know that, but--”_

_“Look, I can’t be a father, all right? I’m not good enough for it. If you can’t handle it, then just leave...” His voice is watery and unstable, and I squeeze my eyes shut, fully awake._

_“No, don’t...” She sounds defeated, but I hear her sit up and scoot closer to him, her presence leaving my side. “We’ve talked about this before. If you weren’t okay with having a baby, then why didn’t you say no?”_

_“I-I wanted you to be happy,” he warbles. He’s trying to be quiet, but the pitches stretch up and down. His voice becomes muffled--a head into a shoulder, perhaps. “You two were ready, and were so excited, and I-I kn-knew I’d n-n-never be...”_

_“Shh...”  
_

_“H-honestly, I don’t even know why you...y-you stay...you two have it all f-figured out and I-I’m still j-just a stupid, scared kid...”_

_“Because we love you,” she murmurs._

_“I l-love you...” Now he’s crying, too._

_“We’ll...keep trying together.” She sounds so tired, but there’s still hope there. “That’s what we promised, right?”_

_“R-right...”_

_We’ve all learned a lot since we got together. It’s not just feelings that hold a relationship together. It’s a lot of work. But, it’s worth it._

_Still, the baby continues to cry. I throw off the covers, bleary-eyed. Looks like it’s my turn...  
_


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader discretion is advised. This takes place anytime after 50.

_Guess what? It’s back. That horrible, heavy, sinking feeling is back and I want to die again. I want to fucking die and I can’t stop crying, I hate it, I hate it so much._

_But he’s here with me this time. Angel’s still at work, but he’s here, he’s holding me as I rock and Goddess, why? Why do you do this for me? What’s even the point? What’s the point..._

_“Shh,” he says. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”_

_“L-Lloyd,” I stammer, my face covered in snot and tears and Martel knows what else. “I want y-you to be straight with me...”  
_

_“Straight, huh?” The joke isn’t lost on me, and I’m surprised he picked up my slack, but...ah._

_“Do y-you...ever regret saving me?”_

_I’ve never said this out loud, but I’ve thought it hundreds of times. Thousands, even. I know for a fact that Lloyd Irving and his pretty girlfriend and roommate Colette Brunel would have been so much better off if I had never entered their lives. If I would’ve  
_

_just_

_died_

_then  
_

_and  
_

_there._

_But, he gives me the answer I know he will. “No,” he says, his voice so deep and so gentle. “Never in a million years. How could I ever regret saving you?”_

_“I-I don’t...I...” The waterworks sure are flowing, and I start to shout. “Just look at me! Look at this mess--fuck, I fucked up my arms again, for Martel’s sake! I-I’m never g-gonna g-get better...even w-with the th-therapy a-a-a-and--”_

_“Shh,” he hushes again, and he hugs me tighter. He runs his work-worn fingers over my arms, now with scars, fucking scars from me being an idiot again. “I love you. I love you no matter what.”_

_“Come on, come on...” I’m whining, trying to struggle away from him. “H-how are you this good! H-how are b-both of you...so good to me? Y-you can’t...you can’t be...not with me!” My voice raises so loud that it echoes in the apartment._ “Not with a fuck-up like me!”

“You _come on!” he shouts right back, and presses his forehead right against mine. He runs his hand hard through my hair. “So, maybe it isn’t a walk in the part. So what if you’re still a mess? You’re worth it.”_

_“Am I?”_

_“Yes, you are.” He kisses the tops of my cheeks, and I see him lick his lips from the salt. “You’re so worth it. I promise. I would save you a thousand times.”_

_A thousand times, huh..._

_I think you’ve done that already..._

(Z.)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place anytime after 37.

“We’ve got the afternoon, you’ve got this room for two  
One thing I’ve left to do: [discover me discovering you...”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5EnGwXV_Pg)

_He smooths his hands down my thighs, flaming hair tied back, while he kisses, kisses, kisses along my stomach. Down through my hips...the pressure he’s putting on my thighs makes me squirm, makes me sigh, and he grins, he grins..._

_His mouth trails up along my stomach, between my breasts, to my neck. Oh, Goddess, he’s humming._ “Your body is a wonderland~,” _he sings, although it’s more like he’s just saying it, and I giggle. “Oh, my sweet little angel...”_

_“Z...ah...” While I wasn’t paying attention, one of the hands on my thighs went up inside me, and ahh, I’m wet and he’s touching me so gently, flicks against me, and my eyes flutter closed.  
_

_Heat rises through me, and I feel his lips linger close, close, and I reach for them, I reach and he kisses me back deep, so deeply. My hands fidget and squirm on the sheets, and he finds one of them, he holds it, while still touching me, touching me..._

_Every time we make love, I’m reminded of what a…what a great lover he is, even though he brags about it so much…_

_He pauses in his kisses, but not with his hand, and it gives me room to breathe. And breathe I do, it’s hard to catch my breath, it feels…Goddess, it feels so good, my hips flinch to the rhythm of it. One eye opens, and I can see that he’s been watching me. His lips are just parted, crystal eyes wide, cheeks flush and bringing out the freckles lining them.  
_

_He’s cute...I giggle, and he smiles too. The radio continues to play..._

“You want love? We’ll make it,  
Swim in a deep sea of blankets,  
Take all your big plans and break ‘em,  
This is bound to be a while...”

_I get distracted by it, only momentarily, before he dives his fingers deep in me, and I gasp..._

(C.)


End file.
